Titanically Random
by How-I-Lost-Your-Respect
Summary: This package contains a freeze-dried collection of humorous short stories. Just add water. Keep out of reach of children.
1. Teen pregnancy!

Short thing every day.

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Robin ran into the room.

"Cyborg! Dude! You've gotta help me!" he said, out of breath and leaning on his knees.

"What's wrong?" his trusty titanium teen teammate asked.

"I think I have.. TEEN PREGNANCY!" Robin said morosely.

The audience gasped loudly as the dramatic scene unfolded.

"Don't worry. I can help," Cyborg nodded.

"How?"

"Falcon--" the robotic teen started.

Cyborg pulled back his arm and waved his fist in a small circle, hurling it forward into Robin's stomach with a brutal amount of force.

"PUUUUNNNCH!" he cried as he slammed his fist into his scrawny friends abdomen.

Robin ragdollized on his friend's fist, and then fell to the ground, coughing up blood.

He struggled to his hands and knees and grinned, his teeth red with blood.

"Problem solved!" Cyborg cheerfully exclaimed.

"YAAAY!"

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:D


	2. OM NOM NOM

-arm flail-

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Raven and Starfire were sitting on the couch together.

Starfire turned and stared at the side of Raven's head. For a while, Raven tried ignoring the Tameranean's gaze, but after a while she couldn't just sit there idly ignoring it. The reason for this was Starfire has eyebeams, and after a while, Raven developed a first degree burn on the side of her face.

"What is it, Starfire?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

Starfire picked up Silkie off the ground and stuffed him in her mouth, swallowing him whole.

Raven stared in horror as Starfire consumed her own pet. When she was done, she flashed a wide smile at Raven, then got up and left the room.

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:D


	3. It's fun to pretend

Two chapters in one day!

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Raven punched in the combination to the lock on her door, and it slid open with a quiet wooshing sound.

She stepped into the dark room and the door closed behind her. She flicked on the light and when she looked at the center of her room, her book fell to the floor as did her jaw.

Beast Boy turned towards the source of the noise, and his ears fell as he saw that Raven was standing there. He was caught in the act. He stood there, dressed in one of her leotards, her blue boots, and her cape. He had been making sounds with his mouth as he pretended to fly, but now stood silently staring back at her.

Raven blinked once, twice, and then stepped backwards out of her room, leaving Beast Boy alone once more.

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:D


	4. Like a crappy 80s hair metal band

Yay

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Red X and Robin were in an intense battle, each sustaining heavy blows and dishing out as much pain as they could.

As Robin was going in for a fatal blow with his staff, Red X's spinning wrist blades extended and quickly gyred into a whirling vortex of death. They effortlessly sawed through wonder boy's magic extending metal phallic symbol and plunged into his stomach, causing his body to vomit blood and organs.

As he lay on the ground, choking on his own blood and struggling to fight back the encroaching darkness of unconsciousness, he hoarsely spit out a few final words.

"Red.. X.. that sounds.. like a crappy 80's hair-metal band.." he groaned as lights flicked in front of his eyes.

The thief stood before him, pondering what he had said.

"It does, doesn't it?"

Robin nodded from the pool of blood he sat in.

"That's a really sucky name then, isn't it?" he pouted.

Robin nodded again.

You could almost see the skull mask on Red X's face turn into a sad frown.

"Oh, cheer up," Robin hoarsely called out. "You're still everyone's favorite villain."

"That's true," interjected a nearby talking mynah bird.

Red X beamed. "Let me help you up there, Robin." And he extended his hand.

Robin's eyes sparkled with friendship and admiration and he grasped Red X's hand, causing a shower of rainbows, love, and magic to spray everywhere, and a soft pink border surrounded them.

"Let's go home," Red X said.

And they skipped home, hand in hand, Robin leaving a trail of vital organs as he went.

And everyone lived happily ever after. Except for Robin, who died soon after.

Sparkle sparkle.

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:D


	5. VEGETABLE MURDER

:D

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"Hey, BB," started Cyborg, nudging his friend in the arm at the dinner table.

"What is it?" he asked, looking up from his plate of steamed vegetables.

"You know how plants are alive?" Cyborg asked, to which Beast Boy nodded. "Well what if like.. there's a planet someplace where the inhabitants are vegetable people or something. You could be committing genocide, dude."

Beast Boy looked down at his plate, horrified, and then ran out of the room.

"You're a dick, Cyborg," Robin chuckled.

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:D


	6. Apprentice

:D

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Back when Robin was forced into his apprenticeship, he experienced many things. Some of them.. rather unpleasant. He was sitting in a circle with his friends, recounting some of the monstrosities that Slade made him do..

One event in particular..

It was early in the apprenticeship, and Slade had called him into the back room of his lair. Robin begrudgingly obliged, and when he stepped into the room, the door slammed shut behind him. A light flicked on, and what he saw made his skin crawl.

Slade, wearing nothing but a pair of blue briefs and his mask, was sitting on a masseuse table in the center of the room, kicking his legs as they dangled off of the table. On the floor was a bucket of unknown content.

"Hello.. Robin," came Slade's cold voice.

"Wh.. what is this?" Robin asked, backing up slowly.

"It's time," Slade announced.

When he jumped off of the table, Robin saw that Slade's whole body was covered in thick, curly hairs. He looked like he belonged in Jellystone park.

Slade dipped a brush into the bucket at his feet, and when he pulled it out, Robin discovered that it was filled with body wax. Slade offered the brush to his new apprentice.

"It's waxing time, bitch!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

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There is something wrong with me as a human being.

P.S Did anyone get the Yogi bear joke?


	7. I think I swallowed a fly

:D

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Cyborg quickly entered Robin's room, where he found the boy wonder playing with a hula-hoop. Robin nodded, acknowledging Cyborg's presence, and continued his hip gyrations as he tried to keep the neon yellow ring spinning around his waist.

Cyborg nervously sat down on Robin's bed, wringing his hands.

Noting the uneasy vibe his friend was sporting, Robin stopped his childish pasttime for a moment.

"Something the matter?"

"I think I swallowed a fly," he said, trying to stay calm.

"So? That happens to people all the time."

"No, you don't understand. Beast Boy was flying around as a bug this morning to irritate me.. And now I don't know where he is."

Robin's eyes widened. "Oh fu-"

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:D


	8. Best day of the year

Yeah.

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Beast Boy strolled into the room and struck a pose. He was clad in naught but a black censor bar.

The rest of the Titans looked up from the couch.

"Beast Boy, what are you doing?"

"It's NAKED DAY!" he proudly exclaimed, striking a heroic pose again.

"No."

"...Fine." And with that he turned and went back to his room.

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:D


	9. Prison is cool

Ahhh. Poor Robin. The butt of all my jokes.

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The Titan boys were sitting on the roof, making small talk and playing with a tennis ball they had found.

"What do you think the best thing about being in prison would be?" asked Beast Boy to his comrades.

"All that free time, I guess," noted Cyborg.

"I think not having any responsibilities," said Beast Boy, answering his own question.

"Dropping the soap," nodded Robin. "Definately."

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked over at him. "What?"

"What?"

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:D


	10. I too, think I swallowed a fly

Haha, this seems familiar.

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Beast Boy quickly entered Robin's room, where he found the boy wonder playing with a Barbie doll. Robin nodded, acknowledging Beast Boy's presence, and continued brushing his doll's hair, making her pretty for the big ball.

Beast Boy nervously sat down on Robin's bed, wringing his hands.

Noting the uneasy vibe his friend was sporting, Robin stopped his childish pasttime for a moment.

"Something the matter?"

"I think I swallowed a fly," he said, trying to stay calm.

"So? That happens to people all the time."

"Sorry, did I say a fly? I meant Cyborg. I accidentally ate Cyborg."

Robin's eyes widened. "Oh fu- wait what?"

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Oh those Titans and their crazy shenanigans.

As mentioned in First Date, flying out to college to day. First Date won't be updated for a week or so. Titanically Random will be, since I have like 15 shorts I have written in advance.


	11. POKE

Guess who's posting from his dorm? :O

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Beast Boy poked Raven in the cheek.

"Raven."

She ignored him.

"Raven."

He was met with silence once more.

"Raven."

She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

"Raven."

Her fingernails dug into her palm as she clenched her fists, staving off the rising desire to kill.

"Raven."

It wouldn't be so bad if she did murder him, right? She could hide the body in Nevermore, nobody would be the wiser.

"Raven."

The others might suspect something though. She was really the only one who would kill him.

"Raven."

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS IT?!" she hissed, turning towards him, a burning fire raging in her eyes.

He extended his arm, holding out an opened orange bag full of round candies.

"Want a Reese's pieces?" he offered.

"If I take one will you stop making noises?" she answered through clenched teeth.

"No."

"Then no," she said, turning away.

"Wait I meant yes."

"Too late."

"Dammit."

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:D


	12. Spluuurch

This one takes some imagination.

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It was a quiet evening in the tower.

Starfire's mouth opened, and she slithered out of her own skin through her mouth. Having shed her outer layer, she snaked along the ground and slipped out of the room through a crack in the floor.

"That was weird."

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:D


	13. Tea Party

What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this one o.o

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Everyone was in Starfire's room because they were having a tea party. They sat on cute little pink stools around a cute little pink table. Raven was very proper and extended a pinky when she drank tea. Beast Boy had grown a moustache for the occasion to look nice.

They then ate crumpets. It was so delicious.

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ADORABLE


	14. A Peaceful Hobby

New chapter of First Date will be released this weekend.

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Robin was sitting quietly at his desk attempting to construct a ship in a bottle.

The silence was shattered when Starfire kicked in the door and entered the room singing loudly.

Robin's concentration was broken and the tweezers he held in his fingers clamped down and destroyed the ship he was trying to erect.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK."

And the show was cancelled because swear words make children become serial killers.

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New chapter of First Date will be released this weekend.


	15. I has tourettes

First Date updated this weekend.

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The Titans were having a team meeting. In the middle of a sentence, Robin was slapped across the face by Beast Boy.

"What the hell was that for?!" he demanded, holding his cheek.

"Sorry. I have tourettes," said Beast Boy remorsefully.

"Alright. Just don't let it happen agai--" **SMACK! **"Son of a bitch!"

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:D


	16. Genitals?

OMFG. College is BUSY AS HELL. I'm really sorry I'm not updating that much, I'm really busy you guys :(

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"Dude.. I've been wondering something," started Beast Boy, indicating his robotic friend.

"What's up?" came Cyborg's reply.

"You're like.. 95% robot.. and your entire lower half is robotic.. do you like.. not have a penis? You look like a Ken doll.."

Cyborg stood up and ran out of the room crying.

"You're a dick, Beast Boy," Robin said.

"That's what he gets for the vegetable massacre thing."

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In other news I am back on the chronic depression train. Choo choo.


	17. Morning

-arm wiggle-

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Beast Boy turned the page of the newspaper spread out over his lap. His pants lay in a heap on the tiled floor in front of him, and he hummed to himself. He was taking his morning bathroom break, and it was going very well. He had consumed several cups of coffee that morning, so there were no problems in the proceedings.

He heard a knock on the door and it immediately burst open, the intruder not waiting for a response. Screaming like a girl, Beast Boy covered his privates with the newspaper, recoiling in shock and embarrassment as Cyborg burst into the room and slammed the door behind him, pressing against it to hold it back.

The sound of fists slamming on the door could be heard as Cyborg held the second intruder back.

"Open up Cyborg! I saw you go in there!"

"Dude, what are you doing?!" asked a flabbergasted boy-beast.

"Shut up I'm trying to think!" Cyborg spat back, barricading the door with things he found in the bathroom.

"I'm not gonna say it again! Open the door!" came the voice from outside.

"What is going on?!" hissed Beast Boy through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Robin just is mad at me for something I did. He won't even give me a chance to explain!"

"So what DID you do?" the green boy asked.

"I MIGHT have drawn on his face when he was taking a nap on the couch. But that's it! No big deal!"

"Well can't you do this somewhere else? In case you hadn't noticed, I'm taking a CRAP here!" he growled at his friend.

"Yeah, I did notice, and for God's sake, can you open a window or something? That stinks to high heaven, dude!"

"Well I wouldn't normally have to worry about that, but SOMEONE decided they would come spend time with me while I was emptying my bowels!"

"Get out here, Cyborg!!" came Robin's voice through the door.

"Cyborg! Robin! What is going on?!" came Starfire's voice from behind the door.

"Why is everyone crowded around the bathroom?" sounded Raven's voice.

"Oh my God is Raven out there?" asked Beast Boy.

"Beast Boy's in there?"

"So is Cyborg!"

"You ran in there with Beast Boy?"

"Shut up!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'M ON THE TOILET"

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it is so hard to find time to write now.


	18. Professional

I am so freaking busy with my schoolwork and failing a class!

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Beast Boy plopped down on the couch next to Raven, who was putting down some thoughts on paper.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, but returned promptly to her scribbling.

"So I've made an important decision in my life," he started after a long pause.

Noting the serious tone in his voice, Raven lifted her head and brushed her bangs from her eyes.

"Is this supposed to be a bit or something?" she asked skeptically.

He shook his head.

"Nope. This is serious."

Raven put down her pencil and shifted her weight to face him.

"Alright. I'll bite. What's up?"

"Okay, so I've been thinking."

She opened her mouth to make a scathing remark about doubting his mental capabilities, but decided that it was too easy and she would wait for a different opportunity. She mentally waved it away.

"About?" she asked, going along.

"I've figured out what I want to do when we stop being full time super heroes," the green teen said.

"Oh?" she asked, curiosity peaking. "What's that?"

"Gynecology."

He was met with a cold, piercing stare and eyes casting judgement.

"I need to practice if you're interested in--"

"I'm leaving."

"IT WAS A JOKE!"

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I am a horrible person, aren't I.


	19. Professionally Professional!

O HERRO! I've been missing for a while, haven't I?! Check my profile for details! :D

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"So how do you like your job as a gynecologist, Beast Boy?" asked Robin over the phone.

"I am now afraid of vaginas, Robin," came the quiet, damaged voice of his friend.

"Fantastic! Well, I've gotta go. Stay in touch!"

"No, Robin, don't hang up, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYM--click"

"How's Beast Boy?" asked Cyborg.

"Swell!"

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Continuity? HILARIOUS


	20. Happy New Year!

So..

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"3..2..1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" The crowd on TV erupted into deafening applause and cheers.

In their living room, the Titans cheered and spun their noisemakers.

"Happy new year" was exchanged between everyone and they toasted and drained their champagne glasses.

Robin exchanged a kiss with Starfire, who was sitting on his knee.

Beast Boy slipped his arms around Raven's waist and the two also met lips.

Cyborg grinned widely and looked off to the side, suddenly realizing he was without a partner.

"God..DAMNIT."

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Happy 2010, everybloody!


	21. NO GIRLS ALLOWED

I return.

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Hearing a knock on her door, Raven walked over and looked through her fisheye peephole. Seeing Beast Boy and Cyborg standing in the hallway, she punched the button on her wall, causing the steel door to smoothly slide open.

Raven stepped forward and nodded in acknowledgement of her friends.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Hi! Can Cyborg and I," Beast Boy gestured towards himself, "borrow a few of your books?"

Raven lifted an eyebrow in surprise.

"Well.. Yes, of course, I suppose," she said, stepping to the side and gesturing into her room towards her bookshelves.

"Thanks!" Cyborg said, a chipper smile on his face as he and Beast Boy approached the pale girl's library.

"I never really pinned you two as avid readers," Raven remarked as she watched Beast Boy climb onto the shelf and start tossing books down to Cyborg, who stacked them up in his arms.

"Oh yeah," Beast Boy called back. "We're huge on literature."

"Can't get enough of it," nodded Cyborg in agreement.

"Well.. that's a positive change from all those stupid video games of yours," the telepath remarked as the two walked back towards her, heading for the hallway again.

"Yep! Thanks again!" they said merrily as they headed down the corridors.

Raven watched them for a moment and then stepped back into her room.

A few hours later, Raven walked into the common room in hopes that there would be something on the television. When the doors opened up, she saw an enormous, crudely made fortress fashioned out of piles of her books. As she approached slowly, she could hear Cyborg and Beast Boy laughing giddily.

"What.. the.. hell?" Raven asked slowly, dumbfounded as she looked over the fortress.

The two boys popped out from behind a tower of books and pointed.

"Hey! No girls allowed!" Beast Boy whined.

"What are you two idiots doing?" came her irritated reply.

"Get out of our fort!"

"How old are you two?!"

"Shut up!"

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A more serious story is coming soon, actually. :o


	22. I AM A SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTER

**Hey all. Read the note at the bottom. It's important.**

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"Hey, Robin," said Speedy, walking up to his friend, who was talking with some of the others. "I just watched the Titanic."

"Okay, cool. How'd you like it?" came the response.

"I don't get it. It had NOTHING to do with us," came Speedy's response.

"..What? Why would it?"

"You know. It's the TITANic," he said condescendingly, as if spelling out something simple for Robin.

There was a pause.

"Isn't that weird?" pressed Speedy.

"I.. uh.." Robin struggled, trying to find words to express how stupid Speedy was at that moment. Unable to come up with anything suitable, he sighed and walked out of the room.

Beast Boy looked over at Speedy.

"If it means anything, I thought it was weird too."

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**BOLD FONT IS EYE CATCHING**

Alright, so here's what's up. I'm writing again.. Like, for real, not just Titanically Random.

The sad news however, is that First Date is on hiatus for the foreseeable future. I apologize, but I realized somewhere through it that the progression wasn't as carefully thought out as it should have been, and as such I have foiled my own plan.

The **good news** dear readers, is that I have a new story lined up that you should like very much if you liked First Date. I expect to have a chapter up by the end of this week, but I have papers to write and a midterm to take, so no promises. I'm very committed to this idea though, so I'd say it's a safe bet you'll be seeing it soon. I'm even staying sober on Saint Patrick's day to work on it instead of goofing off! So, here's hoping.

Take care.

HILYR


	23. A TEEN TITANS VIDEO GAME? OH SHIT

So.. look what else I decided to update besides this story, huh? :P

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"Look what we were just sent in the mail!" bellowed Cyborg.

Everyone ran into the room. Mail was the best thing to happen in the Tower. Ever. Like, seriously, mail was LEGIT in the structurally unsound gimmicky glass behemoth.

"What did we get?!" asked Robin, pants wet with excitement AND urine.

Starfire ripped the flat-rate box open with her teeth, tearing apart the packaging and revealing its contents.

"It's.. a Teen Titans video game!" exclaimed Boy-Beast, surprised.

All of the Titanic Teens stared at each other, mouth-holes gaping and open like tanker fish.

"But that's a... TIME PARADOX!"

The next instant, the entire tower detonated in a mushroom shaped cloud of fire and smoke.

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I'm going to animate every one of these stories one day, then watch them and cry to myself over how f'd up I am. o_.


	24. Bear with me

Oh. Hello there.

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Cyborg was in the kitchen baking a cake. He was all dressed up in an apron and chef's hat, cradling a bowl of batter in one arm and vigorously stirring the mixture with the other.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a bear lumbering over to the open fridge, grabbing something with its teeth, and disappearing out of the room shortly after.

"Beast Boy," he called, sounding irritable. "Can't you get food like a normal person?"

Beast Boy popped his head up from the couch and looked into the kitchen. "What, dude?"

"Why are you being a wild animal to get your food?"

"What are you talking about?" the green teen called back, looking confused.

"You're running around my kitchen as a bear!" Cyborg yelled at him.

"I've been taking a nap on the couch for the last hour?"

"Then what was.." the mechanical man slowly turned and saw a smiling bear sitting quietly in the corner of the kitchen.

"HOLY SWEET GOOGLY MOOGLIES!"

"I AM LOLBEAR" the bear announced.

"It talks!" Beast Boy gasped.

"THIS STORY IS FUCKING CRAZY" yelled Cyborg.

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FD will be updated... you know, whenever. -puts on sunglasses and rides invisible bike into the sunset-


	25. This is why we can't have nice things

Wow. Hi there. I logged on for the first time in a year today and saw that I was still getting traffic. How odd.

Wrote this really quick and thought I'd post it. I apologize for my absence, but I've been dealing with this and that in life and I've kinda moved on to other stuff.

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"Robin, when you go shopping can you please pick up some orange juice?" Raven called from the kitchen.

"Sure," he called back in response.

Raven shuffled back to the couch and sat down, about to speak when she suddenly froze, eyes fixed on who accompanied Robin on the couch. Raven's head cocked to the side and she raised an eyebrow, mouth still open.

"Red.. X?" she asked to noone in particular, staring at the skull mask.

He waved.

"Right.." she said, confusion etched into her face as she slowly settled back into the couch.

The bandit looked back down at his Cosmopolitan magazine.

Raven looked around, in hopes of finding an explanation as she mouthed the words 'what the hell.'

He turned a page in his magazine.

Unable to contain her curiosity anymore, Raven broke the silence. "Robin, why is..?"

At that moment, Red X stood up and put down his magazine. He extended a hand to Robin, who shook it. He then walked over to Raven and offered his hand as well. She slowly grasped his hand and returned his handshake, clearly unsure.

With that, he turned and walked over to the window, and jumped through the glass, exiting with a loud crash and leaving broken shards across the floor.

Robin raised an eyebrow and looked down at his waist.

"He stole my utility belt.."

Raven looked around the room again and threw her hands up in dismay.

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Alright, I got quite a few messages asking me when I was going to update First Date. I read through it, and realized I really, really, _really_ hate First Date. Interpret that as you will, but it's probably not going to get an update. (I have a rough chapter written from last year, but I don't particularly want to continue the story.)

I have another one that I started that I like much better, but who knows if that will ever see the light of day. I unfortunately am up to all kinds of nonsense, so I will make no promises.

Thanks to anyone who's still around!

**HILYR**


	26. Punstoppable

Holy shit, updating two days in a row! (not much of an accomplishment.. my A/Ns are longer than these are)

Write me a review, it'll take about as long as it takes me to write one of these. (plus it makes me feel super-special-cool)

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Brother Blood was sitting at his desk, scratching restlessly at an uncomfortable patch of redness on his arm.

"Something wrong, sir?" asked a soldier standing guard in the room.

"No, nothing.. I think I just have H.I.V.E.S."

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA


	27. Punbreakable

yes.

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Hotspot grunted in frustration and tapped angrily on his laptop.

"Something wrong?" asked Speedy, looking up from his cell phone.

"I think our internet is down.. I can't get a connection at all."

"Maybe you need to find a cafe or something," offered Speedy.

"What for?"

"Maybe then you can find a wi-fi HOTSPOT!"

"Very funny."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you hot under the collar," he joked.

"Alright, that's enough."

"Come on, man, a good joke always FIRES ME UP," he guffawed.

Hotspot's eyes narrowed. "Seriously. Stop it."

"Calm down man, don't get too HEATED!" the marksman was on the floor now, barely able to contain his laughter.

_"In other news, local hero Speedy was found downtown badly injured, with severe burns all over his body. He is currently in Jump City Hospital, and has been unavailable for comment at this time."_

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I don't know why I put ANs in when I don't have anything to say_  
_


	28. it's hard to write with broken arms

Hi. I really don't like this one, but I'm updating because I want to let you guys know what's been up

I broke my arm in a fight at the start of summer and so I haven't really been able to write. It's been out for about a month, but since I've been out of commission for a while I've had to get caught up with everything, get a job, etc.

Just a heads up to let you know what's been up and why I haven't been around, I'm not dead but I'm not guaranteeing a post for a little while.

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"Robin seems in a bad mood lately," commented Cyborg to his green friend as they played XBox.

"That's because I've been peeing in his toilet tank for the last two weeks," Beast Boy responded, gaze not drifting away from their racing game.

A toilet flush could be heard from down the hall, followed by an anguished cry of "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING," from Robin.

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Working on an actual story (I know, I always say that, but it's not a lie. I just don't publish a lot of stuff I write) so that might see the light of day when my schedule lightens up a bit

I'll be back, so until then, stay sexy everyone


	29. Fang Shui

Fang, the arachnid headed thug, had just finished his bath. He whistled cheerfully and pulled the drain plug, watching the water swirl away.

He started to rise to get out of the tub, then immediately slipped and fell back down.

He tried again and again and slipped on the edge each time. Despite his most valiant efforts, he could not best the slippery edge of the tub.

"Heeeeeeeelp," he called out pitifully.

Noone came.

"I wonder if this ever happens to Spiderman."

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I was kind of hesitant to publish this one since I feel like not many people would get it, but I found it really funny.

You know.. since bugs and spiders can't climb out of wet tubs..

I thought it was funny anyway..


	30. Wordplay is like swordplay somehow

Reviews give me that warm feeling you get when you hold a girl's hand.

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A grab bag of Titans characters were in a plot-convenient location that was conducive towards a good joke set-up.

"Anyway, so after the bandages came off-" Speedy was cut off by the phone ringing.

"I'll get it!" Aqualad and Kid Flash both called out at the same time.

"Jinx!" shouted Kid Flash. "You owe me a soda!" he yelled triumphantly.

"I don't owe you shit," Jinx called out from across the room.

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.

I was rather pleased with myself on this one.


	31. Hakuna Matata

I didn't hate myself as much as I usually do when I wrote this chapter, so it must be less facepalm-y.

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The Titans had invited over a few friends to watch a movie. Oddly enough, everyone had unanimously voted on The Lion King.

It came to the part in the movie where Simba's father is trampled by a stampede of wildebeest. Emotions ran high in the tower as everyone fought back manly tears. Beast Boy crossed his arms and turned to the horned half animal Titan sitting next to him.

"I hope you're happy."

Wildebeest hung his head.

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I swear to God, this story is like the kid on the playground who chases girls with a booger on his finger.

When other parents ask, I tell them it's not my kid.


	32. sure

Oh hi, didn't see you there!

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Beast Boy tapped the hooded girl next to him. "Raven, do you think I'm good looking?"

She turned to him and studied his face for several moments. She turned back to her book. "Nope."

His eager expression quickly crashed into a frown. He stepped up and walked out of the room.

"LOOK OUT EVERYONE, I'M GOING TO BE CRANKY ALL DAY."

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I have this nagging feeling that this was an exchange between Lucy and Schroeder in Peanuts.


End file.
